You put the bread in the toaster.
You wait.
Something happens.
THE SYSADMIN:
Object inserted.
Surface exposed to controlled heat. Transformation achieved through tool-assisted process.
Resulting object: square, browned, textured.
Status update: altered surface, primed canvas.
THE WITNESS:
Toast feels earned in a way most things don’t anymore.
THE SYSADMIN:
Smell not required for classification.
Still, it matters.
THE SYSADMIN:
Toast meets minimum criteria for painting.
Surface: yes.
Medium: heat-induced pigmentation.
Tool: toaster.
Gesture: timed intervention.
Authorship: ambiguous but present.
THE WITNESS:
It’s fragile.
You can ruin it by looking away.
You can burn it by checking your phone.
Toast punishes distraction.
Butter it.
THE SYSADMIN:
Additional layer applied.
Viscosity uneven.
Texture amplified.
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